Baby steps
Earlier this week, I saw my urogynecologist. I really like this doctor – he is not only knowledgeable about this condition (his practice specifically focuses on female pelvic pain), but he is also a compassionate medical professional.
We made a few changes to my care regimen. I suggested that I stop taking oral contraceptives, which he agreed was a good idea. My reasoning behind the suggestion is this – I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and as such, I do not menstruate often when my hormones are left to their own devices. IC flares are often caused by or worsened by menstrual periods, so many doctors that treat IC have their patients take birth control continuously (skipping the placebo week) in order to suppress those periods. My doctor had me do this – however, what we discovered is that I would have periods anyway. So, my thinking is that if my body does what I need it to do when it’s “left to its own devices,” why not give that a try? So that’s what we’re doing.
We made a few other slight tweaks to other medications, as well. He prescribed dextropropoxyphene (a.k.a. Darvocet) for my bad flares, since ibuprofen has not been very helpful in the past. This is something of an emotional comfort to me. I try not to take it unless necessary, but knowing that it’s there if things get really bad is a relief to me.
I mentioned above that my doctor is a very compassionate individual – this means he spends a lot of time talking to his patients. Unfortunately, this meant that I did not see him until about two hours after the scheduled time for my appointment. Thankfully, the office had wireless internet access, which kept me occupied in the waiting room – but I found myself thinking too much once they beckoned me to the examination room. I recalled my first appointment, and how while waiting for him then, I grew apprehensive. I remembered a few months after that appointment – the night before I went in to have the potassium sensitivity test (one of the ways IC is diagnosed) – calling my parents in tears, late at night, because I was terrified. So, when the doctor and the intern came in and asked how I was doing, I burst into tears.
Again, I have mentioned he is a compassionate person – he was concerned at my tears and was sympathetic when I expressed that I’d found having interstitial cystitis to be especially stressful the last few months. Sometimes, it is enough to have someone tell you that you are not blowing things out of proportion, and that it is normal to be upset in these situations.
I think it was good that I cried, and that I remembered being afraid – I have been so focused on how interstitial cystitis is affecting me now, but it is good, too, to remember and recognize how the diagnosis affected me.
Overall, I think the appointment was a very good thing for me on an emotional level. I had not seen this doctor since February. I had been, by and large, feeling okay – it was not until the very bad flare I had in October that I realized and accepted that I needed to change something. Maybe I was in denial before then – wanting to believe I was “well enough.” So I am glad that I saw him, that we discussed my care, and I feel hopeful about the changes we decided on. I think they will help my condition improve. I feel more in control of my health, too.
I would like to close this entry on a hopeful note. I know that my blog entries have, up until now, been about the emotional rough patches I have been going through. I don’t apologize for those, and I am sure they are not over – in fact, as I noted in my last entry, I will, no doubt, have many periods of anger and frustration with my IC throughout my life.
Still, I want to try to live well. One of the hardest things for me is adjusting to the IC diet. Food has always been a comfort for me, and to have certain foods denied is scary to me. But I am trying, and I hope that I will find recipes and meals that are tasty and worth sharing. That is my plan for my next entry – I will post about food!
